


Coughed up love

by lamocantwrito



Category: Free!
Genre: ... - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Angst, Death, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, No Fluff, Oneshot, Probably ooc, i cant tag, i posted this in the middle of class..., i really like the hanahaki disease, i wrote this so long ago, i'll never be able to tag, im sorry if it sucks, im sorry?, its not edited at all, makoharu - Freeform, makoharu is life, sorta edited now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8156960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamocantwrito/pseuds/lamocantwrito
Summary: Makoto suffers every day coughing up his love for haru in the form of flowers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> lolololl so this is my first attempt at hanahaki and makoharu so.. i hope this goes alright. Please enjoy this :)

 

 

He doesnt tell anyone, but the first time he felt it, he was 12. 

 

The feel of love and affection for his best friend, thats when makoto first felt the flowers swell in his throat. 

 

He can remember the exact moment he fell in love with haruka, it was watching his reaction to winning their relay back in elementary school. Being able to watch haru swim so beautifully and then seeing his eyes light up as he read the rankings. Reading that they had won. It made makoto realize that he, in fact, was in love with his best friend. 

 

But of course, haruka could never love makoto back. He had rin, someone who was exciting, some one who lit a fire in haru's eyes, some one whom haru loved. 

 

And how was makoto to compare to rin? Makoto, a weak hearted, scaredy cat, overall boring person. He could never ignite the spark in haruka's eyes like rin could. 

 

He watched as haruka's eyes managed to be get brighter when he looked at rin. He couldnt help but feel a light pang in his heart. 

 

That night, makoto laid in bed, pondering. He is only 12 for christ's sake and just realized his feeling for haru, so how could this hurt so much already? How is he going to keep this a secret from haru? What would happen if haru found out? 

 

Haru could never find out, he'll just have to ignore the feelings of love and adoration. 

 

Then Makoto started to feel the petals coming up his throat and coughed up bright florescent petals of a red carnation

_My heart aches for you_

He stared at the petals for a while, wondering what he should do with it. In the end he ended up throwing them away, attempting to ignore his disease. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The petals turned into flowers as time progressed and the disease started taking over. 

 

He had learned over the years to deal with the flowers. He is now 17 and knows his time is soon. He grows weaker by the minute and everything hurts, but nevertheless continues his facade. 

 

Highschool is a new experience, he still manages to stay best friends with haru. But that's all it will ever be. Rin might have left years ago, that doesnt mean haru doesnt still love him. 

 

Makoto treasures every moment he gets with Haruka. Because he knows after high school he's never going to see his best friend again.

 

With the help/pestering of Nagisa, they manage to restart the Iwatobi High School boys swim team. And sometimes makoto manages to forget and almost feels like he is normal. 

 

A normal person with out this terrible illness, he feels like less of a burden when he's swimming. Though he still has not told anyone of his condition. He's pretty sure his mom has found out. 

 

Some nights he pukes or coughs the same flower as the previous night, makoto wonders what that means. 

 

One week the only flower that would come up was a pink camellia.

_Longing for you_

 

That was the week they found out rin was back.  

 

Makoto is glad rin is back, he really is. He can tell how happy it makes haru. It may be difficult to read some times but makoto can tell haruka is happier. 

 

The spark as once again been ignited by the one and only Rin Matsuoka. 

 

The light in haru's eyes it back and brighter than ever. Makoto supposes the saying 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is true. And it breaks his heart. 

 

but makoto is happy for them, because as long as haru is happy. He is happy, he truly is. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Purple hyacinth

_Im sorry_

 

This is the flower makoto pukes up after his fight with haru. Tears stream down his face as his legs give out and he sinks to his knees. 

 

Never has he ever gotten into a fight with haru that was _this_ bad. Heck makoto didnt even know if he was going to make it to Tokyo. But he wanted to let haru know anyway. 

 

He texts rin, asking him to help haru. He knows only rin can get Haruka out of this funk. He pains his heart that he can do nothing for his best friend, for his love. But he trusts rin will come back successful. He and haruka will come back with their feelings all figured out and happy. 

 

So long as haru is happy, makoto is happy. 

 

He tells himself this all the time, it's starting to get harder and harder to believe 

 

He recollects himself, takes the flower and throws it over the bridge. Watching it flutter onto the ground, he walks away, back to where Nagisa and Rei are. He explains what happened (skipping the flower part) and that haru is going to be just fine. 

 

When he gets home, he collapses onto his bed, exhausted. Makoto doesnt sleep much anymore, the disease and his thoughts keep him up. But this time he closes his eyes and lets the darkness envelop him. 

 

The next day Makoto finds himself wondering what rin and haru are doing. He imagines they have already discussed each their for each other. He can picture it. 

 

Them sharing an embrace, holding hands, loving touches and adoration shining in their eyes. Finally getting together, he knows how much they compliment each other, it has to be them and makoto need to get his head out of the clouds. 

 

Haru and rin are end game. There's no room for makoto. 

 

And there never will be, Makoto knows this but it's just so hard to deal with it.

 

Suddenly makoto begins to cough, 

A forget-me-not emerges from his throat

_Eternal love, dont forget me_

 

Makoto decides he'll keep this particular flower. He's not sure why but he feels compelled to.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He greets haru and rin home at the airport. The air between haru and rin is different, he cant put his finger on it, but he knows something has changed and he's got a pretty good guess. 

 

Welcome back is all he manages to say to haru, things are almost back to normal between them. 

 

Makoto offers a smile to haruka and its returned with a bashful look. Makoto silently chuckles at haru's reaction. 

 

After catching up quickly, they're headed off to the pool. The relay is tomorrow and they need to practice. 

 

Makoto finds himself on one of the higher levels of the facility with haru. There, haru apologizes for the awful things he said to makoto. Makoto apologizes as well, for not telling him sooner and etc. They talk like how they used to normally talk. He debates on telling haruka about his illness, but in end he doesnt. 

 

Later on makoto winds up walking down a trail alongside of nagisa rei and haru. Haru stops them, makoto is curious. Whats haru doing?

 

He finds out that haru found his dreams and that he is going to pursue swimming. He is so happy for his friend, haru finally found his dream. 

 

As happy as he was, makoto also was sorta sad. Because he wasn't any help, he wasn't the one to help his best friend find his dream. Instead he annoyed haru, he pushed him too far, he pressured haru into finding a dream. 

 

What a horrible best friend he was, but at least Haru had rin. Someone who was actually valuable, someone who could actually do something helpful. 

 

He was surprised haru didn't mention anything about rin, that almost gave him a small sense of hope. But makoto knew better than to let his hopes get up, he's not that naive boy who was easy filled up hope anymore.

 

He begins to feel a flower creep up his throat, he quickly excused himself from their chat and runs off. 

 

The rest of the team glanced at each other, wondering where makoto was going and why he had to leave so abruptly. Haru had this bad feeling in his gut, but ignored it, figuring it was something else. So the 3 of them let Makoto go and continued their conversation.

 

He could feel their curious stares as he left, making sure no one can see him or followed him, he leans against the trunk of a tree and hacks up not a flower but a rose leaf

_You may hope_

 

He ends up keeping this one too

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They did it, they won! 

 

They actually won nationals, Makoto has never been happier. He got to swim with the most amazing team, they won, he made it! 

 

The four of the swimmers threw themselves in a hug, each one of them smiling with tears in their eyes. Makoto can see the radiant smile that belongs to haru. 

 

His heart skips a beat at such a rare sight, all he can do was smile and laugh. He cant believe they actually did it. 

 

He is so proud of each relayer, he knows how hard all of then worked. He is truly honored to know them and swim with them. 

 

He sees haru with such joy in his eyes, it warms makoto's heart. He wishes he could make haru look that way, but now is not the time for that, now is the time to celebrate!

 

After a long and exhausting time of celebrating their victory, makoto and haruka end up walking home. 

 

It almost feels like its their normal routine, walking in a comfortable silence, shoulder to shoulder. As much as makoto likes the silence, he hates it as well. Silence makes more room for thinking and makoto doesn't want to think right now. 

 

He's perfectly happy being able to walk with haru for one last time. 

 

Makoto could feel it, this morning as he woke up, he knew today or early tomorrow would be his last. He needs to tell his family and haru, he should have told his team. But he was so caught up in their win, he never did. 

 

But hey if tonight is his last, he's glad he gets to spend it with haru and at least they won, so he'd be ending on a high note. 

 

Makoto suddenly stopped in the midst of his stride and started coughing. He couldn't stop, flower after flower came rushing up and out of his throat. 

 

He momentarily forgets that haru is standing right next to him, he's just consumed in a coughing fit. But as soon as he realizes, he looks at haru with terror in his eyes.   

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Haru stood there paralyzed for a moment. Makoto looks at haru, with the most scared expression haru has ever seen. He's not sure what he should do. He's only heard of Hanahaki disease, never had a seen someone with it in real life. 

 

But quickly he came to his senses and attempted to soothe makoto, after what seemed to be an eternity. Makoto stopped coughing eventually and tried to play it off as if nothing happened. 

 

But haru was having none of that, concern shone through his eyes as he asked makoto how long he's had this disease. 

 

He was horrified to find out makoto has been dealing with this for years, heck he didnt even know this disease could last more than a year. 

 

Makoto couldnt look haru in the eyes, he tried averting his gaze from those oh so blue orbs. He was ashamed, he didnt want anyone to know. He didnt want to even more of a burden to everyone. 

 

Haruka was hurt that makoto felt like he couldnt hell him about his disease, but that wasn't important right now. What's important is being able to save makoto. 

 

He tried to suggest the surgery, but makoto denied that option very quickly, claiming he'd rather die than loosing the love he has. 

 

Then haru attempted to pry out who makoto was in love with, in attempt to see if there was a possibility of mutual feelings. But makoto refused, part of haruka was hoping that it would be him, but he knew better. 

 

Makoto suddenly collapsed on the ground, convulsing wildly. Makoto knew that this was the end, he was dying. He started coughing and coughing until they came out, a red rose and sweet pea. 

_Love and good bye_

Blood stained the sweet pea, but the rose remained seemingly untainted. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Haruka could do nothing, he was terrified. He was watching his best friend die right in front if him. He doesn't know what to do, he feels water roll down his face. Haru realizes they're tears. He watched as the rose and sweet pea emerge from makoto. 

 

He doesnt know what the sweet pea means but knows the rose is love. 

 

Makoto lifts his weak arm to stroke haru's face. Haruka leans into this gentle touch and whispers desperate pleas for makoto to live.

 

But his pleas are unanswered, left feeling helpless and guilty haru begins to sob. He cant imagine a day with out Makoto, his warm presence, his bright smile, his comforting gaze. Being away from him for even two days was hard enough. 

 

But being makotoless for an eternity is impossible. 

 

Makoto's breathing begins to slow down, the rise and fall of his chest is almost non-existent. Haruka enters a stage of panic, he decides to call the police, trying to explain whats happening through broken sobs. 

 

He ends the call with the police and decided to call Mrs. Tachibana, to inform her that her son is dying. The ringer going on for a while before redirecting him to a voice mail box system. 

 

Makoto coughs once more and an orange blossom stems up

_Eternal love_

 

Makoto, with his last breath, finally says what hes been wanting to say for the past 5 years

 

_I love you_

 

And Haru lets out a heart wrenching sob, he cradles what used to be makoto's body and whispers i love you over and over and over again. 

 

But its too late, makoto is gone. Haru wasnt fast enough, he told rin in Australia he realized he loved makoto but didn't know what to do. Rin warned him if he waited to long, something was going to happen. 

 

Rin was right

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Haru could do nothing but whimper and plea to the gods to bring back his makoto.

 

Makoto's soothing warmth was long gone, his shining green orbs forever concealed, that bright smile never to be seen again, his contagious laugh lost in memory, makoto was gone.

 

Haru felt overwhelming guilt flood him, he should have known, he should have asked. Haru noticed something was off with makoto  for a whole. He never confronted him about it, but he should have. 

 

Why didn't he do anything?

 

This is all his fault, if only he had done something. 

 

Haru never even realized he loved his best friend until it was too late, he supposes that you really don't know what you have until it's gone. 

 

He always figured makoto would be a constant in his life, forever would it be Makoto and Haruka, taking on the world together. 

 

Now that is impossible, his other half is gone. Lost in people memories, Haruka doesn't know what to do. 

 

Makoto's body is now completely cold

 

Haruka lets out another sob because now his best friend is truly gone forever. Should he call rin? But what would he be able to do for Haru? 

 

Rin had warned him that something was off back in Australia, but Haruka brushed it off. Saying that makoto would have told him if something was wrong. 

 

Boy does Haruka regret not saying anything. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

It's been a  week since makoto's death, the funeral was 4 days ago and Haruka is an absolute mess. 

 

He's constantly late, can't focus, lacks motivation. He even quit the swim team, he knows makoto would have wanted him to take care of himself.  But god dammit is it hard to do this with out makoto. 

 

Rin checks in on him everyday. The tachibana's have him over for dinner as often as they did when makoto was still alive. 

 

He appreciated all these gestures, but they aren't helping. 

 

He just wants him makoto back. 

 

Finally about 2 1/2 weeks after the death of his love, a tombstone that reads Nanase Haruka stand next to the one that reads Tachibana Makoto. 

 

Engraved in each tombstone is an orca and dolphin, all wrapped in a heart. Along with the heart reads a quote that says 

 

"Even when we're free from our physical forms, our love shall transcend the afterlife"

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if that sucked, it's def not edited. I posted this in the middle of my Vistas 2 H class while working on my powerpoint. So i didnt get a chance to revise anything yet. Updates will happen with edits. I wrote this a while ago, when i first found the hanahaki stories so i was inspired to write one, i still dont really know how it works but i hope you all enjoyed it. If you wanna chat about it or just talk, come check me out at lamo-is-to-blamo.tumblr.com :) have great day


End file.
